schizophrenia horror and love

schizophrenia the horror returns

mom comes from the pharmacy. They discontinue manufacturing my meds dear. i am afraid  but i have faith. do not worry mom i am sure new meds will work. mom take new meds. she seem okay for one month. easter approaching. mom   decides to sleep in the basement away from her bedroom. i okay dear with the new pills. she refuses help from doctor. self denial. mom makes me a cup of coffee tastes horrible. she put in some soap  in it. i went shopping with mom. she was laughing to herself. who are you talking too. no one dear. i am fine.  mom tossing change on the  way home . mom stuffing tissue paper in my purse. what are you  doing. i am fine. mom taking a figurine of mary jesus mother gives it to me said it is evil  take it away violently. next day she takes  the figurine to a priest. take it away. mother mary is a whore.she wants to control her son. mother all night screaming at evil mother mother. sceaming leave me alone. next day mom has tv very loud it shakes the house. i sat next to her. she said to my horror this is my daughter  to her  illusionary friend. do you see them dear daughter. i do not. it is not real mom. mom purse is full of garlic to  protect her from  demons. where is my dad. drinking himself to death. i hated him for being an alcoholic. mom and  him was fighting every day i am so afraid they hurt each other. i hid sharp objects from mom. finally called the doctor. i told him i cannot hospitalize her for i felt such guilt. i was feeling very ill. lost lots of weight not eating properly and not sleeping at all. i was the  only strong one in the household. the doctor had  my mom   committed with his consent . my mom was grab by to policemen on her next appointment and taken to the  psychiatic ward . my mom as in the hospital for two months. it was a nightmare seeing how much she suffer. she was in a room with glass siding. i can hear all the patients cries  . mom arranging newspapers in order. she said it keep the world  from falling apart. i visit her every day. her face was so happy to see me. we sat side by side for hours. she did so many strange things but i wanted her to know how much i love her . that she is not alone with her illness. as i sat with her near a large hospital window as the sunset i realize the power of love. only love can heal us